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15/05/2019 a las 07:42:47
Hey you [url=]Grady Jarrett Jersey 2019[/url] , football fan! Quick, watch this! There’s no time to explain, just watch it.Oh wait, did I say “no time to explain?” What I meant was “there’s no earthly explanation for what you’re about to watch.” What you just saw is, ostensibly, a 59-second advertisement for solar power in northwestern Ohio. But actually, it’s a series of existential crises and philosophical koans posed against the backdrop of an Ambien dream.And I’ve got questions. So. Many. Questions.1. Why is punter Britton Colquitt sitting alone, in a seemingly empty FirstEnergy Stadium, while wearing most of his entire Browns uniform but no pads?2. Who let this grown man and child onto the field of an NFL stadium, and why are they dancing to a backing track from Duke Nukem 3-D at the 20-yard line?3. When this man suggests the Browns are “dancing again,” is this man aware his team is 2-6-1?4. Did Hue Jackson wear this team down to such a nub of disappointment two wins necessitates the art of dance?5. How come no one in this advertisement that prominently features the extremely 2018 dance move The Floss knows how to do The Floss? 6. Why does Jayson [url=]Black Brian Poole Jersey[/url] , the man we’ll later learn is our “Solar Coach,” do The Floss like he’s Carlton Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air?7. Why are they doing The Floss in the first place, and is this a side effect of the sun’s harmful rays? 8. Is this actually an extremely low-key ad for Fortnite?9. Does Jayson coach the sun? 10. Wouldn’t that just make him Apollo, the Greek god of light, whose chariots dragged the sun across the sky each morning?11. And if he is Apollo, who is the god of several other things including music, why didn’t he pick an actual song instead of a guitar riff born of Sammy Hagar’s unwashed hair?12. Who is this child who shares the field with our Greek deity, and where does he fit in the mythical lineup of heroes? 13. Why does tiny Asclepius suggest he’s going to save money on his monthly energy bills by switching to solar? 14. Is he a homeowner? 15. WAIT DO HIS PARENTS MAKE HIM PAY RENT? Jesus, Ohio. That’s brutal.16. When Apollo, god of plague and poetry, suggests Colquitt’s Dad-moves are exactly how the Dawg Pound dances. Is that 100% true [url=]Brian Poole Jersey 2019[/url] , or just 99%?17. When Colquitt says switching to solar power was “the best thing I ever did,” how offended should his wife and children feel?18. Are we meant to immediately feel shame when Colquitt says this, or was that supposed to be earlier when he was dancing?19. Were FirstEnergy Stadium’s lights always powered by punting? This would explain so much about the Browns’ return to the NFL and outright refusal to play offense.20. WHOSE DOG IS THIS? 21. Why does he own a lime green 2005 Ford Focus?22. Is his name just “Solar Dog?” That is a terrible name for a dog.23. How does he know so much about solar power, and what are his credentials?24. Why is he staring straight through the screen and into my soul, casting his unblinking judgment on my use of fossil fuels?25. Why did the producers of this ad dress Solar Dog up in what appears to be some kind of costume just to have it obscured by the car door?26. Is his 2005 Ford Focus solar powered?27. Who gave a dog, even a solar powered one, the loan necessary to buy a car?28. What is Solar Dog’s credit score, and how is it so much better than mine?29. Does the sun give Solar Dog his power, like the villain from Superman IV: the Quest for Peace?30. How is this talking dog somehow the most reasonable part of this commercial?And ... I think that’s all I’ve got for now. But rest assured I came away from this exercise somehow knowing less about solar power than when we began. Garrett Mehal is the man behind the Pro Football Focus Falcons’ Twitter account. He joined me to discuss how the Falcons are trying to improve in the trenches via free agency."Despite not making any splash signings in free agency, it hasn’t been a quiet off-season in Atlanta. Several coaches were fired. Many long-time veterans were released. High round draft picks have felt the pressure of needing to perform at a higher level. Unsuccessful contract negotiations with key players have left some lingering concern across the fan base. There have been plenty of noteworthy headlines to make up for the lack of notable signings, and the Falcons have been gaining momentum of late. With the NFC continuing to get better [url=]Black De’Vondre Campbell Jersey[/url] , the Falcons can’t afford to take another step back. This is a team built to win now. Pro Football Focus’ Garrett Mehal joins me to examine the Falcons’ roster and free agency thus far, with those thoughts in mind. He is the man behind the PFF Falcons Twitter account. Off-season acquisitions and declarations on both linesHow the Falcons are going to improve in the trenches has been the central focus of their off-season. While major reinforcements are obviously needed, they had to make sure their main centerpiece remains in Atlanta. Grady Jarrett has developed into their most consistent player on the defensive line. He is coming off the best of his career, which meant a lucrative long-term deal appeared to be imminent. That hasn’t quite come to fruition as Jarrett received the franchise tag. Despite developing into one of the top defensive tackles in the league, the front office couldn’t come to terms with him for the long haul. Jarrett isn’t on the level of Aaron Donald or Fletcher Cox, but there is a strong case to be made for him being right below them alongside the likes of Chris Jones and Geno Atkins.“Jarrett is definitely in the second-tier,” Mehal stated. “He’s an interesting case because he wasn’t always getting to the quarterback at the level of the players you previously mentioned. In the last five games of last season, Jarrett was playing at a premier level. He was getting five to six pressures a game. Quarterbacks had to get the ball out quicker because of his disruptiveness.”“I’m not sure what the holdup is in regards to his contract situation. Could they be hesitant because he hasn’t always been consistent as a pass rusher? It’s hard to say. Jarrett has always been an outstanding run defender. How he progresses as a pass rusher will be interesting in 2019. If he can sustain the numbers he was putting up at the end of the season, he can be right below the likes of Donald and Cox.”Although Jarrett isn’t the only player on the roster due for a massive payday, his contract situation did restrict the Falcons going into free agency. Not having the cap space to pursue players such as Rodger Saffold left the front office searching for viable starting options at a cheaper price. James Carpenter and Jamon Brown were signed as potential solutions to their biggest positional need. Mehal understands the logic behind signing both players. That doesn’t mean he envisions them being difference makers on a revamped offensive line. “Neither player can be considered as an above-average guard,” Mehal stated. “It’s more average to slightly below average when assessing them. Both players do bring starting experience [url=]De’Vondre Campbell Jersey 2019[/url] , particularly in playing for good teams like the Rams and Seahawks. They also bring much-needed depth because the only guards on the roster were Brandon Fusco and Wes Schweitzer going into the off-season. I wouldn’t consider either signing to be a huge upgrade. The signings were definitely necessary given the situation at the position.”On the defensive line, there has been plenty of discussion about Vic Beasley’s status. The former first round pick is facing major scrutiny. After becoming the NFL sack king in 2016, he hasn’t come anywhere close to matching that production. Beasley isn’t overwhelming tackles with his blistering first step and wicked agility anymore. Instead of generating pressure, he is being largely erased out of most games. Quinn spoke about taking a more “hands on” approach to get the most out of Beasley. Mehal is unsure of what to expect from him at this stage of his career.“The talk last off-season was about them not using Beasley as an off-ball linebacker anymore,” Mehal said. “They weren’t going to give him any coverage responsibilities anymore. Putting him in a pure pass-rushing role was the plan. That didn’t work out last year, as he was near the bottom of the league in pass-rushing productivity. I’m not sure how they can use him differently at this point. He’s shown he can produce at a somewhat high level. We saw plenty of good things from him in his first two seasons. For him to regress puts the coaching staff in a tough spot. He is Quinn’s guy, but this has to be the make-or-break year for him. You’d like to see Beasley improve his hands, while the coaching staff tries to get more creative in utilizing him.”Stay tuned for part two of Allen’s discussion with Garrett Mehal, covering the draft on coming on Tuesday.
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